A mother's love is a strange and wonderous thing. It is something one can never fully understand until they become a mom themselves. In the name of love and concern for their children's wellbeing parents lose all sense of what is sane and reasonable...if they're good parents of course.
In the year 2000 after years of talking about it I decided to move to New York City. But in my super flakey fashion I just packed a bag, some shoes, my make-up, and a papazan chair cushion and left. I serendipitously secured a job and I was on my way. A friend offered up her floor until I could get settled and that's how it all started. Practically overnight, I had a whole new life.
After almost a month on the floor I found an apartment with some friends. I called my parents excited to share the news and they were immediately making plans to get my stuff out of the house and up to me. Early one Sunday morning my family packed up a Uhaul and drove my stuff to my new apartment. They dropped it all off, ate some pizza, turned around and drove right back to Virginia.
I spent the day and night unpacking. The next morning I went to work as usual. When I came home one of my roommates said that my mother had called and she sounded extremly upset and that I should call her immediately. Now this was not surprising to me because you see my mother always sounded upset when she was on the phone. She would answer it as if she was on fire "HELLO!" to which the person on the other end would say "Are you ok?" and she would respond "Yes, why?" confused by the nature of the question.
So I didn't rush to call her back because I'd been there before. I did eventually call her that night and I was surprised to find that she really was upset. In a hysterical, frantic, and very high pitched voice she said "Erin, I realized when I got home last night that I left behind this entire cooler filled with produce that I bought you before we left." I waited a beat making sure I'd heard correctly.
slowly, and a little confused I replied "It's ok mom, they have produce here"
"But I bought all this for you! Your stepfather has a client going back to Italy tomorrow. She will fly from Richmond and layover at La Guardia. She has agreed to bring the produce with her all you have to do is meet her at the airport to pick it up! Can you do that?"
again, confused "Drive over an hour to the airport to pick up produce when there's a Whole Foods a few blocks away?"
"Uh-huh"
"No"
"Oh..."
"REALLY!!!" I thought to myself. "This sounds reasonable to you?" Also to myself.
"No Mom. I think it'll be ok. Really. We have perfectly good supermarkets up here. Don't worry."
She started to cry. "Blbblblblbl"
"I love you too. I have to go now."
"Bblblblbl."
I hung up. At equal levels I was confused, hysterical laughing, and irritated. I wasn't a mom yet and clearly didn't understand. In my mind, she was just simply insane; now let's not downplay the crazy - for it is one of her most charming qualities - but now as a mom of three myself with my own brand of crazy, I totally get it.
Life is messy and motherhood follows that model. We aren't perfect - no matter how hard we try to be. We often make mountains out of molehills like obsessing over produce when really we're just trying to say "I want to make sure you have everything you need." My mom reached the point where she couldn't do that anymore. I had grown up and she was trying to figure out what that meant for us - together, and as individuals. What do you do when there's nothing you can do? Cry over produce, of course.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone who's ever cried and smiled over produce, first words, recitals, lost teeth, first days of school, and baseball games, and to all those who will.
"Suddenly he knew what was so special about mothers. She looked at him smiling, and said, "I'll love you to the ends of the universe."
~Berkley Breathed - Mars Needs Moms
