Look Mommy...

I have realized since becoming a parent that household items, food, cleaning products, body care, etc. are in fact meant for many more exciting purposes than I could have ever imagined - at least to three year old little boys.

Every Liam event (yes they are events) begins the same way - with the cliche of the mother (me) realizing that the house is far too quiet. Followed by a search throughout calling "Liam! Where are you?" To no avail because little boys have selective hearing - especially when they're hiding from you doing something they know you're not going to like. Virtually every time - when I finally locate him - he greets me with the proudest smile, as if to say "Look Mommy what a wonderful and creative boy I am." I respond with the requisite "How could you have possibly done all this in so little time?!?!" Time to clean up the mess...

The three year old year was one I would never want to trade and yet I am hoping - now that he's recently turned 4 - that the fascination with such experimentation will take a more scaled down approach.

It all started when one day I found him in the closet standing inside my husband's empty laundry basket doing a little dance.

"What are you doing in there buddy?" I innocently asked.

"I'm skating," he smiled "With lotion," he stated deviously.

He had squirted an entire bottle of lotion into the bottom of the basket which created a virtual skating rink for Liam to slip and slide in to his heart's content. That was the beginning but it took a few more times for me to finally catch on.

It is important to note that just prior to Liam turning three his baby brother was born. The baby never, and I mean NEVER slept making mommy a little nutty and a lot fruity. Therefore, my peripheral vision and hearing were impacted to some degree leaving open a large window for Liam to experiment a bit more freely than he might have otherwise. Ok, explanation complete.

The next was the time I found him behind the curtains in my bedroom with a paint brush and a tube of the baby's vaseline. "Look Mommy I'm painting your wall!" Awesome...

There was a lull in said behavior as I began to catch on and confiscated nearly everything in the house. For awhile there was nothing that he could get into. Until one night, Laney (the oldest) had a cold and she asked for some Vicks Vapo Rub. I obliged and while I religiously remember to put such things back up on the highest shelf that night I did not. I left it in Laney's room on her dresser after Liam had gone to bed.

The next morning I walked out of my bedroom to be met by a naked Liam covered from hair to toes in...wait for it...Vicks Vapo Rub. He smiled proudly up at me stating "Look Mommy, I'm all shiny!"

After toweling and bathing and toweling again he still had a film and repeated over and over again "I'm cold Mommy," to which I replied "I'm sure you are buddy. You'll just have to wait for it to wear off."

Around Halloween things took a more dramatic turn. One day I was in the family room with

Liam and the baby sitting on the floor - Laney was in school (note that if Laney were ever around during any of these escapades they surely would not have happened. We don't call her The Enforcer for nothing). Liam announces that he needs to go upstairs to get something and he will be right back. Well after a very short amount of time I call to him - I'm catching on at this point and I wasn't allowing him to wander far for long. I called again and he answers from the kitchen "I'm in the kitchen just cleaning up a little mess."

I remained seated and for a split second thinking to myself "Isn't that nice," lack of sleep was really getting to me by then. I quickly snapped out of it, got up, and went into the kitchen. It took me a second to realize what I stepped in but when it dawned on me that I was standing in a pile of flour as deep as my foot I was shocked. I looked up to find flour - an entire brand new bag of flour - creating a three foot trail from the pantry, where it had previously lived, to the foot of the staircase. At the bottom of the staircase was Liam standing in the giant pile of flour that he had dumped out when he'd reached his destination. I suppose I should have been thankful that he didn't try to take it upstairs. The most shocking thing is that I had been sitting less than 10 feet away and I never heard a thing. The kid is stealthy!

He stood in the pile of flour that covered his feet like they were buried in sand at the beach. In his hand he had his little toy broom and he was determined to sweep up all the flour with this tiny little thing. Next to him was the head of Dora the Explorer, the empty bag of flour, an ice cream scoop, and one yellow rubber kitchen glove. It looked like the scene of a very strange crime. He looked at my astonished, speechless face and smiled nonchalantly, as if this were something he did all the time - then he went back to sweeping.

I'm always fairly certain during a Liam event that he knows what he's doing is not a good choice and yet the pride with which he attacks these undertakings tells me otherwise. Further, he is always just as happy as can be to clean-up after them. I take that back, he will clean up until he's done cleaning whether the work is done or not.

I honestly don't remember what happened next except that I took pictures.

Within the same month, Liam was having a particularly good day as he had recently tackled potty training. He was very proud of this new found freedom. On this day, I had picked him up from school and brought him home for lunch. I made lunch while he played. He announced that he was going to the bathroom and could I please turn on the light. As a parent those are the moments that make the chaos worthwhile. It was a lovely peaceful afternoon and all was right with the world.

Famous last words...

As I finished preparing lunch for him and the baby I revelled in the sound of Liam washing his hands, singing, and playing in the sink - which I saw no problem with since I had always let his sister do it. A couple of minutes passed and I went to get him to come have lunch. I walked into the bathroom to find him playing sweetly. The sink was filled with bubbles and he had toys on the counter. I pulled out the stopper and put my hands into the bubbles to get the toys out. Since there were bubbles I couldn't see THE ENTIRE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER he had shredded into the sink full of soap and water.

I pulled out a handful and looked at him. Again, he had the proudest smile on his face "Look Mommy I made goop!!" And once again, before I did anything I took pictures.

Then he helped me pull the crud out of the drain and deposit all of it in the trash. I explained that it was not ok to use the toilet paper to make 'goop'. He didn't understand how anything that great could be bad. But he never did it again so I assume I got through...

Liam continues to astonish us everyday with his wit, curiosity, and spirit. If I don't end up in a mental hospital there will always be an abundance of stories to fill our days. It's never boring that's for sure.

Until next time...